Monday, September 30, 2013

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Night Light

This is from a month ago
On the road.

The car is PACKED. You don't wanna know just what I mean. My feet are on my yoga mat, and I'm next to my butterfly/ egg chair.

I'm such a pack rat.

We Live in Cities


How is your life going? I don't mean academic life. I mean INTELLECTUAL life. Big difference here peeps.

I watched An Education again last night. I didn't realize how cute Danny was until now. It's pretty crazy here. Love, love, love.

Thursday, September 26, 2013


Youth is such a glorious state of mind.

No it's not exactly.

It's the best and the worst of times, if you quote Charles Dickens.

YOUth is about YOU.

Script Kiddie Blog Tour!

Before I begin my review, let me debrief you! I'm part of a blog tour for the book Script Kiddie. It's a crazy good book with some crazy good reviewers. (Self identification....)

Here are some fun links to start us off!


Script Kiddie by Michael F Stewart
Summary from Goodreads: Jan Rose no longer steals data from the old computers she recycles. She doesn't need to. As the newest member of the police department’s High Tech Crime Unit, the laptop of a murderer has landed on her desk. Her job: to profile and expose a killer.

But that’s not all.

A creep lurks in the shadows, stalking a friend, and Jan must stop him before the hunt turns deadly. The clock counts down for Jan to save her friend, her job, her boyfriend--maybe even her life

Script Kiddie (Assured Destruction #2)

Before you pick up this book, make sure you  have read the first book in the Assured Destruction series, Assured Destruction. I didn't realize that Script Kiddie was the second book until I hit the very last page! You see, I was just too infatuated with this book to actually notice...

I love this plot. It's freaking brilliant. I've never read a book about computer programming and computer science and hacking. This, readers, is a breakthrough in writing. This plot is simply drop-dead intriguing (not gorgeous, that's too cliche!). I love how I didn't know what was going to happen next. Quite simply, this is just a marvelous plot.

As for the writing, it's a great writing style. You've got third-person, but it's third person from Jan's point of view. (I got so into the book that I was just like "JAN LET ME BE YOU!") It's really addicting and interesting.

It's not everyday you get to read about a girl named Jan Rose with FREAKY GENIUSY SKILLS. In fact, it's so rare that you need to BUY THIS BOOK NOW and then comment here to let me know. I'll love you. The author'll love you. And we'll all be happy together!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Wishlist Wednesday

Wishlist Wednesday is a book blog hop where we will post about one book per week that has been on our wishlist for some time, or just added (it's entirely up to you), that we can't wait to get off the wishlist and onto our wonderful shelves.

Forget Allegiant. Life is just so much more meaningful when you're wishing on Champion.

Champion (Legend, #3)

Summary from Goodreads: The explosive finale to Marie Lu’s New York Times bestselling LEGEND trilogy—perfect for fans of THE HUNGER GAMES and DIVERGENT!

He is a Legend.
She is a Prodigy.
Who will be Champion? 

June and Day have sacrificed so much for the people of the Republic—and each other—and now their country is on the brink of a new existence. June is back in the good graces of the Republic, working within the government’s elite circles as Princeps Elect while Day has been assigned a high level military position. But neither could have predicted the circumstances that will reunite them once again. Just when a peace treaty is imminent, a plague outbreak causes panic in the Colonies, and war threatens the Republic’s border cities. This new strain of plague is deadlier than ever, and June is the only one who knows the key to her country’s defense. But saving the lives of thousands will mean asking the one she loves to give up everything he has. With heart-pounding action and suspense, Marie Lu’s bestselling trilogy draws to a stunning conclusion.

So I have a thing for a boy named Day. So I love Marie Lu's writing. So I'm so pumped up for this book. So I WANT IT NOW.

So yeah. It's on my wishlist.

That's about it.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

What Red should have been like

Fun on Paint


I just never got the fairy tale I was hoping for.

I got a nightmare instead.

(panda berry cupcakes from Deviant Art)

Not that kind. That would be nice though.

I got this kind.

(evil snail over lord from Deviant Art)

How to start writing: Guest post

Today is a break from the whole "listen to Valerie's overdramatic life". Today is a "let's have a wonderful writer with a novel write a good post" type of day. I'm so honored to be publishing the amazing guest post that all writers need to follow, especially me.

(I have a thirteen thousand word so-called novel abandoned throughout the school year).

Let's get back on track though. Michelle Muckley is the author of Identity X, which is out today! It's the thriller about a guy named Ben Stone. Of course, this protagonist goes through a ton, but that's obvious given the title.

(Courtesy of Michelle Muckley)

Mind. Blown.

Getting over the hurdle of Chapter One – Michelle Muckley
So, you always wanted to write a novel, and finally you have an idea that you just know will work.  You have sketched a few notes out on paper and maybe brainstormed a few character traits (if you planned a lot).  You are all set.  So out comes the computer and as you type Chapter One you are so full of excitement and enthusiasm you can barely focus to write the first sentence.  You watch the cursor flicking in and out of view each second.  Tick-tock, tick-tock.  Half an hour has passed and all you have written is the first sentence.  Five times.  Because you have also deleted it five times, and now you find yourself sat in front of a blank screen with those initial dreams and endless possibilities never seeming further away.
I heard it said once that everybody has a book in them.  I don’t know who said it first, but I heard it from my friend when I first said I was going to write a novel.  This was a wet New Years Eve in a cold pub garden in England.  I felt very encouraged by her obvious enthusiasm.  If everybody has a book in them, I must be able to write one.  But why if it is that easy isn’t everybody doing it?  Why doesn’t everybody leave work and hunch themselves over a computer at night at the expense of friends and a social life?  Because when you sit down to do it, you soon realise that it’s harder in practice than it looks.
What seems like a great idea at the beginning can soon run into problems, especially if you haven’t planned well.  I know this because about the only thing I manage to plan is sitting at the computer.  I have managed to increase the attention to planning with each book I have written, but it remains anything but impressive, and the material is always subject to change.  Getting from point A (A being the time when you say to your friend in a pub garden that you are going to write a novel) to point B (finished product) can take a long time.  For my first book it took me about eight years.
I procrastinated for at least four years after that initial conversation, save the odd bit of note taking here and there.  In all honesty, the initial idea had at best been lame.  But what never left me was the desire to write.  I always believed that I would do it, but was never really sure how.
So the big question for any of you out there who are thinking that this sounds a lot like you, is how do you actually get started?   The difficult part is that there is no simple answer, although the realisation for me was indeed something simple.  I realised that in order to be a writer, I had to make a very simple change in my life.  I had to actually start writing something (other than ideas on post-it notes!)  It sounds too easy, doesn’t it?  Why hadn’t I realised this before? 
Beginning a new writing project always requires a bit of a hurdle over the starting blocks.  But what happens in time is that as a writer you develop your own methods of managing this leap.  Staring at a blank word document with a total word count of two, knowing that you have to reach somewhere in the region of 80-90,000 for a full length novel and never having done it before is a big undertaking.  Also, with the daily demands of work, children, partners, school fetes and PTA meetings, when exactly are you supposed to fit it all in?  Days might go by and you don’t manage to write anything, and slowly the habit of not writing becomes exactly that.  A habit.
So writing a book takes time and determination.  Nothing you didn’t know there.  What can you do to manage the doubts before you have even started?  I’ll tell you what I did.
1.      I stopped imagining the publishing contract.
It’s so tempting when you sit writing your first few sentences to daydream about what the future might bring and how you might be the next King, Banks, or Meyer.  Focus on the now.  What you are doing right now.  Right now you are writing chapter one, so stop thinking about the celebratory cigars and brandy, at least until you have finished the first draft.  Celebrate small success along the way, rather than waiting for the big one at the end.
2.      I stopped analysing what I was writing.
First drafts are exactly that.  They are not supposed to be the finished product, and neither should they be.  My first drafts don’t even make sense in places.  There are words missing, added, and mistyped.  Write the first draft as quickly as you can, and as Stephen King would suggest, with the door closed.  It’s your first draft, so keep it that way.  Don’t let people influence you yet.  Write what you think, not what your husband or your best friend thinks.
3.      I made a schedule.
It’s great to write every day, and now I just about manage that.  But at the beginning life was very different.  Back then I worked about fifty hours a week, and quite a few extra hours on call too, running in and out of a hospital at all hours of the night.  Writing every day back then was a hopeless dream.  So instead, if I couldn’t write I dedicated a little bit of time each day to thinking about the book.  I thought about the plot, where I was going with a particular character, or new ideas.  Some of these ten minute chunks snatched at lunch or in the car were really helpful, and it kept my mind in touch with the book.  When you do get half an hour to get down  500 words you will find that you feel fresh and in touch with the work, and don’t have to spend 10 minutes catching up.
4.      I gave myself a pat on the back.
I remember feeling very nervous the first time I told anybody I was writing a book.  By then I was probably two thirds of the way through the first draft and thinking that I might actually finish it.  I knew the first draft was crummy and needed work, but I had still written over 50,000 words.  It was a small celebration of what had been achieved so far.   Plus, the response was great, and it was nice to celebrate with somebody and listen to their enthusiasm. 
5.      I sat on the first draft.
Once you finish, crack open the bubbly.  It’s time to celebrate.  You have written the skeleton draft of your book.  Take a rest from it before going back and starting the edit.

The idea of writing a book has never been so attractive to the thousands of people out there who want to do it.  Perhaps my friend was right, and that everybody does have a book in them.  The difference between the doers and the non doers is nothing more exciting than dedication and commitment.  Writing a book is hard, and there are times when you feel like you are churning out rubbish and want to give up.  Something else I heard the other day is that a professional writer is simply an amateur who never gave up.  It’s something to remind yourself of when the sight of a blank page seems like the biggest hurdle to overcome. 

Monday, September 23, 2013

Team (not A)

Wait 'til you’re announced
We’ve not yet lost all our graces
The hounds will stay in chains
Look upon your greatness
That you’ll send
The call I'll send

Call all the ladies out
They’re in there finally
A hundreds jewels on throats
A hundred jewels between teeth
Now bring my boys in
Their skin in craters like the moon
The moon we love like a brother, while he glows through the room
Dancin' around the lies we told
Dancin' around big eyes as well
Even the comatose they don’t dance and tell

We live in cities you'll never see on screen
Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run free
Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams
And you know, we're on each other's team

I'm kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air, so there
So all the cups got broke shards beneath our feet but it wasn’t my fault
And everyone’s competing for a love they won't recieve
Cause what this palace wants is release

We live in cities you'll never see on screen
Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run free
Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams
And you know, we're on each other's team

I’m kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air
So there

I’m kinda older than I was when rebelled without a care
So there

We live in cities you'll never see on screen
Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run free
Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams
And you know, we're on each other's team

We're on each other's team
And you know, we're on each other's team
We're on each other's team
And you know, and you know, and you know

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Unroyally Yours (Lorde)

Started listening to this about two days ago. OBSESSED.

Lorde, I have the hugest girl crush on you.

You're mysterious, unreachable, yet totally relatable.

Friday, September 20, 2013


Watch. This. Now.


Best movie ever.


PB no J

If you're allergic to peanut butter, I seriously pity you on so many levels. Not just the "poor you" type of pity. It's the "I'd take a bullet for you just so you would taste it" type of pity. As long as it's a peanut butter bullet of course!



Now that is a little odd...

But everyone knows the banana + peanut butter= deliciousness and more thing.
Blend it, smear it, mush it, EAT IT.



Thursday, September 19, 2013


 This, is a freaking genius of a collaboration. Brave is such a BRAVE song.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013


[Verse 1:]
Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching tear drops in my hands
Only silence as it's ending
Like we never had a chance
Do you have to make me feel like
There's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

[Verse 2:]
As the smoke clears, I awaken
And untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better
To watch me while I bleed?
All my windows still are broken
But I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Go run, run, run
I'm gonna stay right here,
Watch you disappear
Yeah, oh
Go run, run, run
Yeah, it's a long way down
But I am closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Oh Oh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

(Like a skyscraper)

Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

What I Spend My Time On

Physics is a vortex of uncontrollable fear and confusion. I'm saying this as a brand new physicist taking an AP course on physics with calculus. I'm saying this as a girl who hasn't fully learned how to do derivatives and who can't do integration for her life. I'm saying this as a high school student with a partially existent social life.

As a math girl, this should be easy. EASY? I can't get any of these problems correct. I put in 2 hours a day. I try so hard to do all these problems (well kind of). I'm putting my heart and my soul into this single class, and I don't know if it's paying off.

Am I getting projectile motion and all the other junk that I'm learning? Yes, after I put in seemingly infinite time each night.

I can't ever seem to get the correct answer though. I'm just blindly plugging in formulas and trying to round with significant digits. Sounds familiar, anyone?
Don't even get me started on vectors. I suck so badly at vectors; it's absolutely ridiculous. I can't separate the x and y components at all.

Physics is math for the scientist with brains twice the size of mine.

Moral of the story: Don't do physics if you can avoid.

All in all, physics isn't too bad. It's just a new perspective.

Monday, September 16, 2013


Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
but you are just wrong.

Hey, I'm Basically 15

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
You say "Hi" to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way
It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
"You know, I haven't seen you around before"

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be

You sit in class next to a redheaded Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
We'll be out of here as soon as we can
And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And your mamma's waiting up
and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round the room when the night ends, when the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss makes your head spin around
But in your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy of the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind
And we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la

Your very first day
You take a deep breath, girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors.


Song is Taylor Swift's


Stop Binge Eating NOW

Sugar makes me feel so, so disgusted. Honestly.

I eat even a half cup of ice cream, and all turns to chaos. Three hours later, I have the worst cramp in all man and woman kind. It's so, so great that I know what my problem is.

I'm eating the so-called paleo way because that's the only way that keeps me full and energized and happy and good. It's keeps me from binging too.

I've been binge-free for two weeks or so. Do you know how good that feels? It's a marvelous feeling to have, to not worry about when your next binge will be, to not worry about food at all.


I was an anorexic, which means I thought about food. I was a binge eater, which means I thought about food.

I'm now free of everything, and I feel good.

Searching up "how to stop binging" doesn't work for me. I've searched it up at least twenty times. You know what truly works?

Just not thinking about it. Not having so much spare time to think about food.

Getting busy. Getting work. Stressing, for me, makes me lose my urge to binge. That's not to say stress is a good thing in any way, but it does help you stop binging.

Binge eating is terrible. For me, it was mainly driven by sugar and more sugar and more sugar. However, even when I do have sugar, it just makes me stop wanting it for quite some time.

I don't have to worry about binge eating on that too.

Life is okay again, at least for this period of time.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

My Life

has changed completely.

It reached its inflection point.


Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good or right.

Hey, Taylor Swift, it's play it WELL and right, but I guess you can get away with it.

This is the State of Grace; you're my Archille's heel.

The slope is treacherous; this path is reckless.

And all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along. Forever going with the flow, but you're friction.

I thought you'd be here by now, real self.

Come back, come back to me...

All italics are from Taylor Swift's songs except this line

Friday, September 13, 2013


Have a little faith.

Yeah right.

Have a LOT of faith. And work harder. And try not to stress.

Dare to be strong and courageous. That is the road. Venture anything. 
Sherwood Anderson

And be okay.

Christina Perri's instagram

The Lonely is Christina Perri's song I've always been obsessed with. I am the lonely personified.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Let's be Invincible

It's weird. I have so many layers of myself.

I'm the humanified Shrek-the-onion ogre, except so much less sure of myself. I mean, is it even possible? I want to be so fearless and confident and nice and pretty and likeable. I want to be one of those girls you dream about just because you're so jealous.

I'm a coward. I'm a cute little sweet girl. I'm a sad case. I'm a stressing person.

I'm anyone but invincible.

Life sucks.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

3 APs

how many I had on the first day of freshman year

#Bad memories #ongoing


I feel so stressed on the first day already. Not good.

Monday, September 9, 2013


  • my family
  • comfort
  • security
  • space

Btw, I quit music. Done. Done. Done.


How much my textbooks cost.

$700= how much I would have spent if I hadn't gotten it through AMAZON.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

I Need

  • a hug
  • some money so I can buy books
  • to seriously stop stressing
  • more followers lol
  • a friend
  • time
  • sleep
  • love
  • peace
  • inner peace
  • serenity
  • to not have a cellphone with terrible service
  • to be free of problems
  • to be with God again

Saturday, September 7, 2013

I Don't Feel like a Heroine

I don't feel very good. I'm crying as I write this right now.

If you've been following me lately, you know that I've recently made a very dynamic and life-changing choice. And right now, how do I feel? I feel completely and utterly alone.

I need a friend so badly right now.

I want a friend so badly right now.

Like the title of this post, I don't feel like a heroine right now.

Friday, September 6, 2013


Same by Adele

heart is breaking (no it's not)

life is falling apart (no it's not)

BODY NEEDS SLEEP (yes it does)


Do you ever feel so completely lost and alone? I'm feeling that now. I know God is with me, but I'm forgetting to pray every day. I haven't opened my Bible in a long time. I miss security. I miss feeling so close to God. Dear God, I know You love me, but yet I don't know. Please help me in this new environment, in this new community, to feel You and shine. I'm sorry for all these lost days. I need Your help to give me strength and follow Your path. I need Your guidance. Please help. In God's name, Amen. Love, Valerie

City of Bones Review

This movie is unfortunately kind of sucky

The book is duly recommended however.

For me, the acting is off. Lily Collins would have done a great job if Clary Fray happened to be the crying, screaming, scared type of girl. Problem is that  she's not. Jace is marred by Jamie's inability to speak faster like a normal person. He's not the charismatic Jace; he's a suffering Brit. He just can't pull of Jace like the way I imagine Alex Pettyfer could. I couldn't finish the movie. Sorry. That's all I have


Now I have a touch screen laptop, an iPod, and a smartphone. All within two weeks. I am so spoiled.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Musical Lately

Can't say I agree, Florence, but your song is too good to pass on. Can't understand anything but the English. I love this song anyways. Christina Grimmie, can I declare my girl crush on you?

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Verizon Sucks

I've switched after being a customer for three years.

Their customer support is more like customer time sucking. It's so annoying.

Wait for 20 minutes, talk for 5 million hours, and it's so annoying. Learn nothing.

I've switched.

LOKI ME (Look at me)


(multitude of gifs on Tumblr)


Wishlist Wednesday #1

Wishlist Wednesday is a weekly meme hosted by Pen To Paper featuring books we want to read.

This is my first time joining, and I'm super excited!

Today Hunting Lila is on my wishlist.

Hunting Lila (Lila, #1)
Synopsis: 17-year-old Lila has two secrets she’s prepared to take to the grave. The first is that she can move things just by looking at them. The second is that she’s been in love with her brother’s best friend, Alex, since forever.

After a mugging exposes her unique ability, Lila decides to run to the only people she can trust—her brother and Alex. They live in Southern California where they work for a secret organization called The Unit, and Lila discovers that the two of them are hunting down the men who murdered her mother five years before. And that they’ve found them.

In a world where nothing and no one is quite as they seem, Lila quickly realizes that she is not alone—there are others out there just like her—people with special powers—and her mother’s killer is one of them… (Goodreads)

Unfortunately, it's very complicated for me to get a copy of this book. There's only a UK edition, and as an American, this makes it very annoying to even try.

According to my library's catalog, Sarah Alderson doesn't exist.

Sorry world, guess you'll never get my review unless I move. Or Simon and Schuster can just publish an American edition...
Hint, hint.


have a dance party!

And that, dear friends, is my first GIF.
Surprisingly easy, to tell you the truth.


Waiting on Wednesday #2

Waiting on Wednesday is a meme hosted by Jill over at Breaking the Spine. It features books we need to read in order to achieve self-actualization and inner peace. (No joke here!)

This week I'm waiting on
United We Spy (Gallagher Girls, #6)   
United We Spy!

It's coming out in thirteen days on the 17th! DYING. I MEAN LIVING.

Cammie Morgan has lost her father and her memory, but in the heart-pounding conclusion to the best-selling Gallagher Girls series, she finds her greatest mission yet. Cammie and her friends finally know why the terrorist organization called the Circle of Cavan has been hunting her. Now the spy girls and Zach must track down the Circle’s elite members to stop them before they implement a master plan that will change Cammie—and her country—forever. (Goodreads)

Ally Carter is the master of writing, but Cammie is the true master of the series. Sorry Ally!

As for me, I can't master waiting for my life, but I can make a mean grilled cheese sandwich.

Cammie, Ally, Zach, whoever else, I CAN'T WAIT. JUST GIVE ME AN ARC ALREADY. :)


Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy,

But here's my blog, so please follow me.

Follow me, call me, email me.
Anything that ends in me because I'm selfish.

Here's some videos now:

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Evading sleep & Letters to myself

Teens need 9.5 hours of sleep nightly. 
It's 9:36 right now. 
I should go to bed. 
I used to sleep so much. 
Where is that old soul? 

Dear Valerie, 
I would sincerely appreciate you sleeping more. This way you'll wake up refreshed and ready to conquer the world. In addition, it'll help you to make better choices throughout the day. 

You won't feel tired. You'll have lots of energy to do productive activities and stop being so lazy. 

I hope you take this into consideration. 

I love you. 

Love, Your Body which is main your brain and your heart and the rest of the organs 

Dear Body, 

One. Day. 

Love, Valerie 

Dear Valerie, 



Now assume blogger got herself upstairs. Good night internet.

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