Feelings

You know what? Today's post isn't going to have pictures. And I know all that clichéd "a picture is worth a thousand words and all", but I really don't care.

Because today is a feelings post. A post about feelings and abstractness and imagination. And hurt and shame and guilt and lalalalalaness, you know.

I haven't posted in what, almost a year? I'm sorry, but my reviews are at Open Book Society (email me at blackandblue@openbooksociety.com).

Now this is a blog about self growth.

I'm entering a new chapter in life (no I'm not saying what as I don't want stalkers sorry), and I'm scared.

Because I feel like a mess-up. I used to be super skinny (not really but skinnier I guess). And then something happened. I can't pinpoint where I messed up or when I messed up. But this is where I am now: probably 20 pounds heavier and ashamed.

I want to stop binging and all. I want to have a normal life with food. I WANT TO GET BACK IN SHAPE. (Sorry for the caps).

So starting today, I'm getting serious.

Blogging provides accountability, and here or there, my feelings are out here. I don't need a Facebook. Correction: I don't have a Facebook or anything more complicated than a blog, so here I am. I'm gonna be healthy.

One blog post at a time.

Hello blogging world. This is Valerie saying her hellos.

By the way, if no one reads this, I'm okay. It's probably best if no one does, to tell you the truth.

You know, I actually might one day be sane. (Probs not though)

So I don't know how to stop binging forever. I don't know. I tried to be pro ana or whatever. It didn't work.

But when I find out and I will, you bet I'm writing a post about it.